A Republican, a Democrat and an Independent Walk Into a Bar

The Republican says:

“Screw you both, I’m going to ignore traditional media sources, believe only conspiracy theories and the mouth of our God-King president, turn my back on traditional Republican values in favour of far-right views and you can all shut up because Ive got this one.”

He then downs a beer and sets fire to the bar, with himself and everyone inside.

Please bear with me, I’m going somewhere.

Now, in case that allegorical joke was a little too much; The bar represents America, and the Republican, well, he represents a Republican. (Of course he was a he)

Let me be the first to say “Not all Republicans”. In fact, I’d like it if moderate and traditional Republicans were the majority of people reading these words. Although something tells me I might’ve scared them off with my poor attempt at a satirical joke. Unless they made it to the part about “Not all Republicans”, in which case, phew, glad to have you!

All the way back on Tuesday, 28-year-old Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez won a Democratic party congressional primary in NYC. Not only that, but she beat out a 10-term veteran in Joe Crowley, 56, who had been tipped as a future party leader or speaker of the house. She did all of this with very little support from inside her own party, and with just $300,000 in mostly small donations. Compare this to the $3.35 million dollars that Crowley spent on failing to achieve re-nomination, and what you’re seeing is a new precedent being set.

Ocasio-Cortez’s victory, on a progressive campaign of supporting universal healthcare, tuition-free college and a reform to the criminal justice system, is yet another sign of a potential blue-wave in the 2018 midterms.

Not only that, but by winning as a relative unknown, and finding funding from small donations in her community, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is one step towards what draining the swamp actually looks like.

Hopefully some choice quotes from her victory speeches support this:

“The message that we send the world tonight is that it’s not okay to put donors before your community.”

“There is nothing radical about moral clarity in 2018.”


One of the platforms that the 2016 Trump campaign stood on was one of “draining the swamp”, meaning the removal of greed and corruption from political offices. While I agreed 100% with the sentiment, I didn’t believe for a second that the solution was going to come from a trust-fund baby, or the man who spent a billion dollars (of which much of it came from PACs, the most toad-like groups in the swampy politics of our time) on becoming president.

What we’re seeing in NYC, is an example of how to actually drain the swamp. The people of Bronx and Queens turned their backs on a traditional, career politician supported by PACs, in favour of a champion of the people. A true champion of the people, not one who was born rich and pretends to be one for a living.

I’ve found myself talking about the biggest swamp-lizard of them all again. You know what, I’m through making jokes about our satsuma-faced demagogue, so instead of some closing insult here, about his rotund stupidity, I’m going to include a quote from the President of the United States that should always be remembered:

“I moved on her like a bitch. But I couldn’t get there. And she was married. I just start kissing them…It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.” – President Donald J. Trump


If Ocasio-Cortez’s victory can be seen as the potential for a blue-wave in 2018, I’d encourage moderate Republicans to consider what this would mean for America. Now, new-found, hard-right Trump-era politics, which has turned its’ back on traditional Republican values, would tell you to not even consider the benefits. That Republicans should continue to control all branches of our government. But therein lies the problem, they currently control everything and what we’re seeing is monstrous.

I don’t need to regurgitate some of the social and political horrors of the last eighteen months, you only need look to recent Supreme Court decisions, declining international trade-relations (from a man who claims to know business), and a non-reaction to multiple mass-shootings.

When one single party controls all branches of government, as well as the supreme court, America doesn’t work as it’s supposed to. America’s democracy is designed to be a balance of power, so that no one man (because let’s face it ((again)), any dictatorial ruler is always going to be a man) can hold all of the power.

I have no long-held allegiances to the Democratic party, so please trust me when I say that I’d be complaining just as much if Democrats had this much control over America, and had pushed far-left politics over moderate socialist progression, the way that Trump has regularly pushed far-right views over conservatism.

Dear God, how I once more long for the days to have political debates that are simply liberal vs conservative.

So we’ve found ourselves in a county where fascistic policies are seeping through the cracks of government, where the rich are lining their pockets and the average worker has not found their champion. We’re in an America where racism and division are on the rise once more, all because a self-proclaimed rapist managed to whip up a frenzy.

What’s the antidote to it all? How do we end the madness?

A blue-wave.

If you’re a moderate Republican, or traditional conservative, I encourage you to look into the policies of some of your Democratic candidates in the 2018 mid-terms. With the rise of such extreme views in the Republican party, you might see that some Democrats have decided to run on a centrist, or even centre-right platform. You might also find that they are socialist, liberal progressives who you’re not interested in having represent you.

But at least you considered them, you took part in the process of democracy and you didn’t just vote blindly. That, I will always applaud.

My point is this; If we see a blue-wave in the 2018 midterms, it’ll level the playing field for a less-ugly presidential race in 2020. I have no idea who the Democrats will push as their leader, only time will tell. But I do know that people on both sides are sick of the bullying, name-calling and dirty political tactics of the 2016 election. Trump may go on to win a second term, but it needs to be from a fair-fight position, otherwise he’s going to assume an anointed position as the figurehead of a government that is currently toxically Republican.

I always feel that America functions best when government is purple. When there are almost as many Republicans as Democrats. Of course I’m going to say that, my politics lean left. But almost as many Democrats as Republicans is preferable to what we have now.

If Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez manages to beat Republican Anthony Pappas she will have partially achieved, with the support of her district, one of the policies of the 2016 Trump campaign. She will be living proof that the swamp can be drained. It’s through grassroots politics, small donation funding and moral clarity that this can happen.

A blue 2018 will be good for America. It will hopefully make for a purple 2020, and we can all get back to our lives.

I’ll leave you with the satirical joke that I want to be able to make:

A Republican, a Democrat and an Independent walk into a bar, through balance and equality, and well-informed political debate that puts the best interests of the American people in the center of conversation, they manage to buy everyone a drink, and then an orgy breaks out.

Today is Thursday, June 28th and this week I’m drinking a guava, papaya and passionfruit flavoured white tea.

Image from vox.com

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