He Mocks #MeToo Because He’s Next

Just a warning that I’ve written about sexual assault here, and also about Trump in regards to that. I know that both of these topics are sensitive areas, so don’t feel as though you have to read on.

“I moved on her like a bitch. But I couldn’t get there. And she was married…You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful women — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.”
– President Donald J. Trump

That quote is always a relevant reminder of the behaviour of the current president of the United States.

At a Montana rally last night, Trump made some seemingly rambling jibes that were carefully designed by some twisted speechwriter to trigger liberal snowflake cucks, such as my good self.

I’m of the belief that his off-the-cuff moments like this are planned, in order to make headlines the next day. Well, it’s worked, because I’m not going to be writing about America’s opening loss in a trade war with China for the next eight-hundred words, when I really should be. It’s just — it’s harder to make jokes about the rapid crumbling of international business relations.

Not that it’s easy to make jokes about racism or women’s rights. Damn. I remember back in 2016 when it was a breeze to write something satirical about the raving, failed-businessman-come-reality-star. In 2018 it’s simply a situation that nobody is laughing at anymore, like a racially-charged knock-knock joke told by your great uncle.

His controversial comments are in the video below:

I’m going to ignore all of the chuckleheads behind him, the sea of white faces who’re laughing and enabling these racist remarks. They’re like the Richard Hammond to his Jeremy Clarkson; They’re too scared to make these comments themselves, but they’ll laugh in the background while daddy says something about the Argentinians. Or in this case, the “Indians”.

I’m also not going to focus too much on his ‘Birther’ accusations towards Elizabeth Warren. This is a man who rose to political popularity on the platform that Obama wasn’t born in the United States, a conspiracy theory that has been proven untrue on countless occasions. So it’s no wonder he’s making the same comments about Warren. He certainly can’t debate politics.

By touting her genealogy, he’s bringing something to the foreground that Warren is known to have done at several points in her career. She’s anecdotally mentioned that she has Native American heritage a few times, whereas she’s publicly fought for women’s rights on thousands of occasions. He’s choosing to focus on something that he can safely mock to his band of mindless followers without offending them. I can also see women in that crowd, so surely he wouldn’t mock them?


Maybe it’s because I’m a privileged whitey, but the part of his speech that stung the most was his mockery of the #MeToo movement. This is a non-political movement that has supporters of any and all parties united against the true monsters of society. I’ve had conversations with people who identify with right-wing ideologies, who’ve been in vocal support of rooting out the Harvey Weinstein’s of the world. In fact, a safe source of common ground in political discussions over the last year has often been, “Rape is bad.”

Then we have this latest rally speech, in which Trump belittles the entire process of shining the spotlight on sexual predators, in order to bring the appropriate justice to them. He knows exactly what he’s doing when he says:

“But we have to do it very gently, (throwing a DNA kit at Warren) because we’re in the #MeToo generation so we have to be very gentle.”

Here, he’s equating the idea of a fairly harmless physical assault (throwing a light object at another person) with a movement which aims to expose rapists, sexual assaulters and predators. Not only is he mocking the very existence of the movement, but he’s downplaying the level of harm associated with those exposed and convicted by the unifying campaign.

So why is he doing this? Well, it could just be that his writers know it’s an easy joke to make in front of hundreds of his die-hard supporters. That by mocking a movement which happens to have many prominent liberal voices, he’ll get a couple of laughs from a crowd that wouldn’t know comedy if the Marx brothers came riding in on float designed by Monty Python, whilst singing showtunes from The Book or Mormon, as directed by Edgar Wright.

Or it could be that he’s downplaying and degrading the entire movement because he himself is a self-admitted predator.

I’m someone who chooses to believe victims of sexual assault, and then if the accused is innocent, they’ll be found-so in a court of law. Even if we ignore the women who’ve come forward over the years to speak of the sexual violence of Donald Trump, including his ex-wife, we can’t ignore the words of the man himself.

After all, MAGA-heads, it is your new gospel.

He’s a self-admitted assaulter of women, so it makes perfect sense for him to attack the #MeToo movement. He’ll know, deep deep down, that as soon as his term is up, the media and his party won’t care what happens to him. He’ll be thrown to the hounds of justice, and he’ll finally be tried for his crimes against women.

It could be that he’ll buy his way out of the situation, as he always does, but his usefulness to the lenders will have warn thin when he can no longer push for their toxic financial legislation.

If I’m being an optimist then this is what the future hypothetically holds:

In 2020 Donald Trump will leave the White House for the last time, and immediately be placed under arrest. His trial will be lengthy, but he’ll suddenly be found guilty when he himself takes the stand and proudly says something along the lines of, “I’m the best rapist, nobody rapes better than me.”

Trump will be sentenced to forty-eight years in prison, one year for every month of happiness he’s taken away from the American people. Inmates will offer him nicknames, in the style of his own oh-so-witty sobriquets. “Hey look, there goes Rapey Donald Trump, there goes Incestuous Donald, there goes Pederast DT.”

Finally, one quiet evening, he’ll be sodomised in his bunk — by his lonely, heterosexual cellmate. He’ll squeak out the words “Me Too”, between every un-lubricated thrust. Nobody will hear these words, not even his attacker, who — mid-pound, is already trying to think of a title for his NYT bestseller. He’ll go with, ‘I Made Him My Snowflake’ or ‘Everything is as Small as His Hands’ or ‘I Didn’t Even Wait’. He hasn’t decided yet.

Today is Friday, July 6th and FS1 just used the headline ‘France “Baguettes” a Goal’. What the heck.

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